Pregnancy:
- “You’re how many weeks? That’s how far along I was when I miscarried”
- “Aren’t you telling people too soon?”
- “I thought you might be pregnant. You look fuller”
- “Don’t get too excited yet. It’s still early”
- “You’re how far along? Goodness! I was that big at 9 months!”
- “Are you sure there’s only one in there?”
- “If you didn’t want to feel sick then you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant”
- “Really, morning sickness is all mind over matter. If you tell yourself you won’t get sick, then you won’t”
- “Eating again?”
- “How are you feeling? Well, everyone is tired when they’re pregnant”
- “I wish I had thrown-up. You’re lucky! Then I would have felt better”
- “This is what you wanted”
- “You certainly registered for a lot. When I had my baby we didn’t need all of these things“
- “You must be having a boy/girl. I can tell by how big your thighs and butt have gotten”
- “Should you really be eating that since you’re pregnant?”
- “I only gained 17 pounds when I was pregnant”
- “I thought you were eating for two, not four!”
- “But you two barely know each other!”
- “It’s about time you two tied the knot”
- “You’re having your wedding reception there? I heard the food is terrible”
- “Why are you having your wedding on a Friday night? That’s so inconvenient”
- “That’s the color you chose for the bridesmaids? Oh.”
- “You mean there’s no open bar?!”
- “Whatever you do, don’t sit me next to them”
- “I could never spend that much money on just one day!”
- “Wouldn’t you rather use the money for something else? Like a down payment on a house?”
- “But you have unemployment pay. You’re getting paid to do nothing!”
- “I wish I was laid off. I hate my job”
- “You just lost your job? What a coincidence! I just saw a ‘help wanted’ sign outside of McDonalds. What perfect timing!”
- “Hopefully no one will get sick while you don’t have medical benefits”
- “My job is so busy anymore that I wish I had time to relax like you”
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- “They were old. They lived a full life”
- “Everyone has to die sooner or later”
- “I am sure it’s a relief on some part. Their care was starting to become a burden”
- “Ouch! I have heard funerals are so expensive”
- “What restaurant did you choose for after the funeral? Oh. You chose there? The food is okay.”
- “Have you thought about dating again? It’s been several months since s/he died”
- “I don’t understand why you’re so upset. It’s not like a person died”
- “You can always get another one. The SPCA is jammed packed”
- “Maybe your next one won’t be so yipey”
- (If their dog was small) “Now you can get a real dog!”
- “Look at it this way: no more fur to vacuum”
- “Now you can go on vacations and not have to bother people to pet-sit”
- “No more veterinarian bills!”
- “Maybe you’re just not meant to have children”
- “Just relax! You’re trying too hard!”
- “There’s always adoption”
- “Pregnant yet?”
- “My husband only needs to look at me and I get pregnant!”
- “I know just what you’re going through. It took me four months before I got pregnant with our third child”
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