The Thinking Moms

Dealing With Newborn Induced Sleep Deprivation

By Elisa, November 15, 2009 1:18 pm

sleeping baby2 Because my daughter was 4 1/2 years old before she slept through the night on a consistent basis, I was certain that I would have no problem dealing with the standard sleep deprivation that comes along with having an infant. I mean, come on! 4 1/2 years I went with constant broken sleep. What would a measly few weeks be?

And I was right, to a certain extent. For the first two weeks after my son was born, I did quite well with the broken sleep. When people asked how I was doing, I said I was “tired, but not exhausted”. I considered myself a pro at functioning on disrupted slumber. Allow me to say that I was even a bit cocky with how well I thought I was coping.

Then I hit a wall.

Suddenly, I thought I was going to go crazy. Every night my son would scream from 8pm-11pm before falling asleep. He would then wake at 1am and be up until 5am. Sometimes he cried, sometimes he didn’t. But he was always wide awake. When I finally would get him settled at 5am, my daughter would wake up at 5:30 am – giving me a half an hour in-between.

I became irritable. I cried a lot. I was confused. Why was the milk in the cabinet and the fork in the refrigerator? Why was I wearing two different shoes? Why was it so hard to remember certain words? Simple math became difficult. On several occasions I over-fed my son because I had miscalculated the last time I nursed him.

For the 4 hours that my son was awake during those wee early morning hours, I tried to deal. We had starring contests (I always lost). One night I spent two hours trying to remember the first name of George Costanza’s father. John Costanza? Larry? When it finally dawned that it was Frank Costanza, I was so proud that I walked into my bedroom so that I could tell my husband that I had finally remembered. I then realized it was 2:20 in the morning and he was sound asleep. And now what was I going to think of for the next 2 hours?

The nights were lonely. I watched, one by one, the lights go off in neighbors’ homes. This made me feel even more isolated. When my son cried, I cried too. I bargained with God. “Just give me two hours of sleep – just two hours – and I promise to never complain again!” I then got fierce. “After creating the world you rested on the 7th day! I haven’t rested in weeks!” Indeed, I was going insane.

One blessed morning when I finally got my Little Guy to sleep at 3am, my daughter woke up. “Mommy!” she called out, “What are you doing? Is it time to get up? Where’s the baby? What are we going to do today? How many days until Christmas?” (It was July).

I have read that sleep deprivation and nagging are forms of torture. Therefore, any woman with a newborn and small child is subjected to torture on a daily basis.

And I will never forget the day when my husband came home from work and announced he was tired. As soon as the words left his mouth a look of horror crossed his face and he quickly said, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that!”

What had I become that no one else had the right to complain of being tired?

By 7 weeks my son started going to sleep after his feedings. What a relief. Then, gradually, those feedings lessened until he was sleeping for 6 hour blocks by the time he was 4 months old.

But, alas, I am still getting up at night with my 6 year old daughter. Some things never change.

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